Tuesday, June 5, 2007
And so it begins

Well no one will ever accuse my new employer of moving slow. After just three weeks of classroom training, I am given my own desk, complete with computer, phone, a cell phone for times when I'm not at my desk, and a pager for use when I don't answer my cell phone. I also get 247 cases assigned to me.
These cases are in various stages of adjudication--everything from just created to those in trial prep, including some that are set for trial on this very day. I haven't even seen their jackets much less familiarized myself with the particulars. But here I am, going to trial in the Misdemeanor Branch, and I'm expected to negotiate pleas, craft sentencing recommendations, and try cases by calling and cross-examining witnesses. My saving grace is that I will have another attorney working with me in the courtroom, but he or she (a different one every day) has their own caseload and will only be able to offer quick bits of advice when I get stuck. In other words, it's on me from day #1. They said that the learning curve would be steep when I came on board, but this learning curve's not a curve at all: it's a vertical wall!

Fortunately I got through this day with only one significant gaffe: In asking the judge to impose a sentence of 180 days on an offender, I was a bit nervous and mistakenly asked for 180 degrees. I hadn't caught it but I noticed the judge look at me rather quizzically and I saw that everyone was suddenly staring at me. My co-counsel leaned over and whispered: "You mean 180 DAYS, not degrees!" But it was too late. Before I could correct myself, the judge smiled and asked me if I wanted the court to put the defendant in jail or cook him. "I'm sorry, your honor," I said as laughter coursed through the courtroom. "I meant 180 days."

When the snickering stopped, the bad guy got 90 days for an assault. And I got my first request for incarceration granted.